Phases

People always talk about pregnancy in terms of weeks and trimesters, even though the numbers don't really add up -- 40 weeks, three trimesters of 12 weeks each, does anyone see an addition problem here? Anyway, what we're beginning to see is that pregnancy is also made up of phases: the length, severity, and type of phase all depends on the woman involved.

For example:

• The Yogurt Phase
• The Wasabi Peas Phase
• The Melted-Cheese-On-Bread Phase
• The Potato Phase
• The Macaroni-and-Cheese Phase
• The Sweet Gherkin Phase
  
• The Yogurt-Covered Pretzel Phase
• The Cookie Phase (coincided, unfortunately, with Christmas and its abundance)
• The Hummus Phase
• The Japanese Rice Cracker Phase
• The Diet Ginger Ale Phase

These phases, obviously, can overlap. Symptoms of a phase approaching involve a sudden and overwhelming desire for a certain food item which can last for days or weeks on end - or in the case of the Cheese Phase, months. A phase ends when said food item is suddenly an object of revulsion, usually on the heels of a Costco trip where mass quantities of said item were purchased.

Speaking of revulsion, another common phenomenon of pregnancy is food aversions. I have not had much experience with this, save for one food group: vegetables. That's right; the healthiest food group is suddenly not appealing to me. I'm doing my best to eat them at lunch and supper, though I absolutely cannot bear the thought of carrots, especially cooked ones. It's fine, though; after a recent (pre-pregnancy) carrot binge, a friend pointed out that my palms had taken on a noticeably orange tinge. They're fine now, as is the rest of me.

This Week's Phase: The Party Mix Phase. I WILL NOT SURRENDER TO TEMPTATION.